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Dr Shari
Skeptic Friend
135 Posts |
 Posted - 12/31/2001 : 07:50:31
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Garrette
SFN Regular
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 08:01:33 [Permalink]
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Then in concert with your adopted attitude, I won't say I'm sorry. I do appreciate your funeral plans, though.
Given the knowledge--however imprecise--of your time left here, how do you plan to spend it? If sharing time with us can help you feel your time has been worthwhile, then glad to help.
Best wishes.
My kids still love me. |
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Espritch
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 08:30:20 [Permalink]
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A couple of years ago, my uncle had a stroke and a hart attack in fairly quick succession. It got him to thinking about his mortality. For the next several months, about the only thing he wanted to talk about was his plans to divy up his worldly possessions. It got rather morbid to be around him after a while. Of course he didn't kick the bucket right away after all so he eventually got over it (as of today, the bucket remains unkicked  ). The point is that knowing that you are dying really shouldn't change anything. After all, you pretty much know you are going to die someday from the moment you are born. The only difference is that you now have a better idea of the when and why. It's good to get your affairs in order. But until you do die, be sure to live fully and enjoy the time you have left. And best whishes.
P.S. I noticed that you plan to be cremated and have your ashes scattered. That is my plan also. Do you think this is perhaps the skeptic preference? I wonder what everyone else think? How about it - burial, urn on the mantle piece, or ashes in the wind? Personally, I think a Viking funeral would be cool, but long boats probably cost a lot of money and the Health Department might object.
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Dr Shari
Skeptic Friend
135 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 08:33:11 [Permalink]
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I have no precise plans about what I am going to do with whatever time I have left except continue to grow. The worst part is my husband thinks talking about it is the same as giving up so there is no discussion at all. It is sad that the people who are not in my shoes are more afraid then I am and I think it is selfish of them not to discuss this with me and they think it is selfish if I want to. Ignoring it does not make it go away.
I do not talk about it very often. Most of my co-workers do not know and none of my patients. It was just a positive experiance for me to get it off my chest in a neutral place.
As for cremation it is just the sensible thing to do. Why would I want to just rot in the ground, have a tombstone no one will ever come to and waste the money. Funerals are for the living not the dead.
It is easier to get forgiveness then to get permission
Sharon
Edited by - Dr Shari on 12/31/2001 08:40:12 |
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Garrette
SFN Regular
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 08:42:48 [Permalink]
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I do not have an explanation for why, but you are correct in your observations about the reluctance of others to discuss issues such as this. It is similar to those who avoid the grieving family of the recently deceased because they do not know what to say; it extends to those who fear a loved one is contemplating suicide but who refuse to bring it up.
I do not presume to offer advice, but were I in a similar situation it would be consistent with my attitude to simply tell my spouse that I want to talk about it.
For Espritch, I'm not sure if there is a standard skeptic choice. I've talked with those to whom it matters about my own funeral wishes. Basically, I want it to be inexpensive and fun. Some tears are okay, but the end of the day should be music and dancing. I forbid them to buy anything more than the cheapest coffin; cremation will do if it's cheaper.
My kids still love me. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 08:43:17 [Permalink]
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And so shall we all.
Doc, I wish you all of the best for what remains.
Your plans are a lot like mine, except that my ashes will be scattered in the New River Gorge. There will be no services, but a send-off party instead.
wishing luck,
f
The more I learn about people, the better I like rattlesnakes. |
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Gorgo
SFN Die Hard
USA
5310 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 08:49:54 [Permalink]
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Thanks for sharing that with us.
Not one human life should be expended in this reckless violence called a "war against terrorism." - Howard Zinn |
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rickm
Skeptic Friend
Canada
109 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 08:52:01 [Permalink]
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I am most definately going for the cremation, and absolutely no wake. I have gone to wakes before and find them to be the most morbid of affairs. I could never understand why some people would want to go look at a dead body. I never did actually look at the dead, I always just hang out in the lobby.
Really though I don't think people really enjoy viewing a dead body at a wake, perhaps it is more tradition than anything and maybe a little bit of respect for the family. Some even say it provides closure.
The funny thing about a wake from what I have noticed, is that you see a whole bunch of people there to visit the dead that rarely visited them while they were alive.
Every time I go I always get somebody saying to me "go see him/her they look so good" I just want to say no they don't they're dead. But that would not be polite.
I would much rather, my final memory of someone be that of them in the state of living, not dead
"Let me off the plane,I am no missionary, I don't even believe in Jebus..... Oh Jebus please help me." Homer J. Simpson
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Tokyodreamer
SFN Regular
USA
1447 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 09:07:21 [Permalink]
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Oh no! I hope you fellow skeptics (and anyone else reading) will consider donating your body to science instead of wasteful cremation or burial! At least give up some organs (eyes, lungs, etc.)
Sign those drivers' licenses today! 
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Sum Ergo Cogito |
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Garrette
SFN Regular
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 09:31:23 [Permalink]
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Already done, TD.
My kids still love me. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 09:38:51 [Permalink]
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Yeah, mine's signed, too, but I doubt if anyone will want my liver (and my eyes ain't all that great, either). They can take what's still useful, but the rest of it goes into the Gorge. Always wanted to travel the New River Gorge.
f
The more I learn about people, the better I like rattlesnakes. |
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Slater
SFN Regular
USA
1668 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 11:13:28 [Permalink]
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Went through a bout with cancer myself, seven or so years ago. The strangest thing about it was the reaction of people, especially strangers to it. I actually had a sales clerk run away from me. (Melanoma is a bit more ostentatious than leukemia, what with doctors hacking off and reconstructing bits and pieces of you.)
Susan Sonntag wrote a wonderful book on the subject called "Illness As Metaphor" where she compares the public persona of cancer in the late twentieth century with that of TB a hundred years before. If you haven't already read it, Shari, you might want to give it a try.
The idea of doling out chunks of my corpse to "science" is a touch too lugubrious for me. Besides I intend to wear out all my components by excess before I'm through with them. But a wake would be nice. Being more American now than I am Irish, I think that a cocktail party would be in order. Little black mourning cocktail dresses, a piano playing Cole Porter (Dr Slater regrets he's unable to lunch today…madam…) and the circles left by wet martini glasses marring the finish of my casket
I have no precise plans about what I am going to do with whatever time I have left except continue to grow.
If I might make a suggestion--accept some of those offers you have be recieving for credit cards and look into Bora Bora. I don't know about personal growth in the South Pacific but I do know where heaven is--about a half hour by air north west of Papeete.
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The brain that was stolen from my laboratory was a criminal brain. Only evil will come from it. |
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Garrette
SFN Regular
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 11:26:37 [Permalink]
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quote:
about a half hour by air north west of Papeete
Reminds me of a favorite Jimmy Buffet song, "Somewhere Over China" with the reference, "...when they fueled in Papeete..."
My kids still love me. |
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 12:14:02 [Permalink]
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quote:
Oh no! I hope you fellow skeptics (and anyone else reading) will consider donating your body to science instead of wasteful cremation or burial! At least give up some organs (eyes, lungs, etc.)
Sign those drivers' licenses today!
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Sum Ergo Cogito
Already done. They come after me after I'm gone for all the reusable parts before I become the the big ashtray leavings. I figure that I'm done using them, someone else can play with them.
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Lisa
SFN Regular
USA
1223 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 12:49:16 [Permalink]
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I've already left instructions that anything usable is to be donated. No, my eyes aren't the best, but they'd be useful to someone who's blind.
My mom also planned her own funeral. She also opted for cremation. She told me one additional detail that I still laugh about: "Do not invite your Aunt Fern! I've spent the last two decades collecting this furniture, and her fat ass will ruin every piece!"
Doc, try to keep the good attitude. If no one around you will talk, we're here.
Lisa
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room. |
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Tokyodreamer
SFN Regular
USA
1447 Posts |
Posted - 12/31/2001 : 12:53:34 [Permalink]
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quote:
The idea of doling out chunks of my corpse to "science" is a touch too lugubrious for me.
Heehee, I admit, I had to look up "lugubrious"  , but I don't see why the idea is "mournful, dismal, or gloomy, especially to an exaggerated or ludicrous degree". The idea that my corneas may someday allow someone to see again pales in comparison to the thought of how my relatives and friends conduct my remembrance.
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Sum Ergo Cogito |
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